Krampus baby, slip a birch switch under the tree, for me
Been an awful bad girl
Krampus baby, so slither down my chimney tonight
Krampus baby, a scourging purge with your little lash, then smash
All the bones in my hand
Krampus baby, come slither down my chimney tonight
Think of all the hell I’ve raised
Think of all the fellas that I plagued and hazed
Steep me in your cauldron deep
And cook me till I’m nice and braised
Krampus honey, a suit of fur would just make me purr, for sure
Been a devil all year
Krampus baby, so slither down my chimney tonight
Krampus cutie, there’s one thing that I really do need, to bleed
In a cauldron of limbs
Krampus cutie, so slither down the chimney tonight
Krampus baby, of predators you are the apex, you vex
And you hex all the time
Krampus baby, so slither down the chimney tonight
Come infest my Krampus nest
With flogs and chains and horns and hooves and all the rest
Krampus, I’m obsessed with you
You’re better than the very best
Krampus baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring
Yes, I mean through my nose
Krampus baby, come slither down the chimney tonight
Slither down my chimney tonight
Hurry, tonight
C.S.E. Cooney 