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Sitzfleisch Poetry Hour

Tonight is our Sitzfleisch Poetry Hour–the first of the New Year.

It’s the one night a month a group of poets I know (all sorts! they might be different every month!) gather for a silent zoom and dedicate that hour to writing poetry. I’d love to make it a weekly occurrence, but maybe this is what I can manage for now.

I just drafted a very early idea for a poem called “The Victorian Hair Metaphor” longhand in my journal. Now I think I’d take the rest of the hour to type out here a poem I drafted long-hand in my journal last August. There are a few things in it I like.

And… I’m thinking of both my grandmothers today.

We had news last Thursday that my father’s mother passed away. There’s probably a poem in there too, but not now. And maybe not here. In fact, I will pause and text my papa here, just to let him know I love him.

Teasdale in the Mist

I read a poem today, too quickly
a Teasdale, on Sappho
no lines remain, just a fragrant mist
I retain no elegant mechanics–
nothing of what worked on me
until my heart turned puppetry
the poet, some Geppetto

next, my mother texted a self-portrait
all lines and shadows in her face engaged
all grays and rainbows
and that shocking crone’s corona
awesome as platinum
dark eyes her own mother would recognize
from her cradle days

my mother, today, is a poem
her mother might forget tomorrow
the mist is seeping, the matriarch sleeping
her long mornings through
and though the books she reads are fewer
and her birthday cards are in my mother’s hand
all is not lost, all is not yet lost

her past is deep, will disappear last
our well-documented beginnings
safe in their dusty boxes
our origins and old photographs
her daily prayer

a year from now, I will have forgotten
writing this
encounter it abroad, in some online mist
count myself lucky, perhaps,
to read that old Teasdale poem again

(started August 2023, finished(?) January 2024)

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1/20/2021: “Aurora”

AURORA

For Carlos

after the fireworks are ended

[fireworks: joy upended, ordinance
of dedication, starlight confetti
unfettered celebration, the blitz
that is balm, the bombs of bliss]

after I have smelled my husband’s
neck to satisfaction

[there is nothing like it; I can-
not retain it, sunlit heart-
beat, happy soapscent
cleanly, comely, last-homely-houseiness
but ever and above this
the haecceity of him]

after I have announced my
intention to pen
a poem

[this is totally Amanda Gorman’s fault
I blame naught else, nor name no other
nor uphold the goldgleam of
any other queen than she
who is, today,
poetry]

after the nurses and the teachers and
the students and the astronauts and the
soldiers and the grocers and the Legends and
the Foo Fighters and the chefs and the drivers
and the Seamus Heaney-spouting Mirandas making soft eyes at us from Washington Heights
have compelled me cry

[from the other side of Troy]

after all this, yes, I have sat me my fine ass in all its rosy sitzfleisch down, in my cotton nightgown, with my clown-stained fingers, with this pen that only sort of works, and awkward chocolate staining my shirt, on this borrowed table, in this borrowed space that we have for a grace of time, where we have dined in solitary splendor and remembered the revelry of silence, remembered that in isolation there is also solace, and I am stuffed so spiffily with the iconography of dawn, with wine-purple pantsuits and repurposed wool mittens, the nacreous unity of ten thousand pearls, earnest children in their kitchens working to feed the world, that all I can breathe, all I can see, all I can sing at the end of all this is

[aurora]

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