It’s Sitzfleisch Poetry Night tonight, and I wasn’t feeling it. But since I only dedicate one hour a month to poetry on purpose (it ends up being slightly more, which I’m really very grateful for), I thought I’d give it a go.
Since I wasn’t feeling any free-form verse coming on, I thought I’d take a look at a form I’ve never attempted before: the ghazal. (Or, if I DID ever attempt it, I have justly forgotten!)
Last week I dreamed for five nights in a row that someone I knew and loved died, sometimes on a grand scale, sometimes on a very close and personal scale. The repetition of the ghazal, and the loop back to the same word the ends the first two lines of the first couplet, and then all subsequent even lines, indicated to me a kind of haunting.
A wonderful write-up for the ghazal is here, with the example being the incredible “Hip-Hop Ghazal” by Patricia Smith, and further gorgeous examples linked below the explanation. I love learning about the radeef and the kaafiya, and what a long history this form has.
Oof. Just the beauty and the provenance hit my chest just so.
Here’s my attempt, first draft, such as it is.
Ghazal for Dreaming Death
by C. S. E. Cooney
at night I dream unbroken lonely death sleep long, awake and yawn, “phony death.”
joy is local, daylight dimming doubt each good day I say, “disown me, Death.”
what sacrifice make to stay alive? take of my flesh and clone me, Death.
I read Earth’s woeful daily news staring from the headlines, stony death
in all wrinkles, age spots, gray-gilt hair I behold my kindly crony, Death
breathing slow at night, self-soothe to sleep down dreams, begone ye: it’s only death
We went out for dim sum yesterday with new friends Beto O’Byrne and Meropi Peponides of Radical Evolution Theatre, and the discussion flew between theatre, games, writing, activism, and more.
Radical Evolution Theatre, founded in 2011, “is a producing collective committed to creating artistic events that seek to understand the complexities of our multicultural existence in the 21st Century…: that uses “an ensemble-based approach to create aesthetically and formally rigorous events that bring together people from disparate backgrounds, to break down barriers between cultures and creative practices.”
Their “About page” goes on to say that they “collaborate with people from many different identities with whom we build capacity to relate to each other across difference, with a focus on people of color, to seed the field of performance with practitioners that celebrate the intersectionality of perspectives and aesthetics of the city around us. Through this approach, we work to assert a vision for cultural and social equity in our field, city, and nation.”
One of the theatres that Radical Evolution has been collaborating with for an upcoming podcast project, now in its research stages, is called “The Freedom Theatre,” based in the West Bank. Their website says: “The Theatre programme contains activities that introduce particularly the young generation to theatre and drama, providing them with important tools for dealing with the hardships of daily life under occupation.” They stage “original theatre productions that reflect, comment upon and challenge the realities of contemporary Palestinian society.”
I’m writing this partly to tell YOU all about this, because I love that the Freedom Theatre exists–it’s important work, and dangerous work (past directors have been assassinated or imprisoned)–and I want to support it in any way I can. Their mission statement is fierce. Their donation page is here.
I also want to support Radical Evolution Theatre in all its upcoming projects. One that I know about, because Carlos and I attended the launch party for it, is called “Little Known Legends.”
It’s available for free on Spotify and Apple: “a limited series podcast adapted from Beto O’Byrne’s play, “The Corrido of the San Patricios”. It tells the story of the St. Patrick’s Battalion (Los San Patricios)–a group of mostly Irish immigrants who defect from the US Army to fight for Mexico during the Mexican American War. An epic tale taking us across oceans, deserts and into the heart of one of the most unjust wars in US History, Little Known Legends uses this epic story to ask pressing questions around immigration, citizenship, and what happens when people follow their conscience to actively disrupt political systems.”
Because we went to the launch, we know that the actors are exquisite, the soundscape awe-inspiring, the international collaboration that went into the piece dazzling, and this quiet piece of history profoundly moving. So… I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO HAVING A LISTENING PARTY FOR IT!
Apparently there are whole folksongs written about these events, mostly Irish and Mexican, though the U. S. history books consider the defection an act of treachery. What a piece of theatre!
My discography of Brimstone Rhine songs on Bandcamp. None of these include songs from BALLADS FROM A DISTANT STAR, but someday, I hope! SOMEDAY!
I am about to go through my Discography for a fun a cappella song list to bring with me to HELIOsphere for our little 30-minute concert.
Songs should be:
Fun to sing with audience participation
Fun to sing a cappella or with light ukulele accompaniment
Songs I’m already pretty familiar with, that require just a little rehearsal polish
All my songs are short-ish, but with patter between, the minutes add up quickly. Let’s see. I was thinking something like:
Apex Predators (Corbeau Blanc, Corbeau Noir) – always good to START with this one, because it’s FUNNY, and it’s cute, and it’s a good story about Carlos and me.
The Lysistrata Strut (Alecto! Alecto!) – this one can be practically CHANTED, but it’s more fun with some kind of drum or percussion; we’ll see if Carlos wants to bring his cajon.
Scylla on the Rocks (Alecto! Alecto!) – this is REALLY fun with the audience singing the “blub-blubs” on the refrain. A STANDARD!
Sisters Lionheart (Ballads from a Distant Star) – a good chorus to sing along to! Also, I get to talk about the project!
The Jub-Jub (Corbeau Blanc, Corbeau Noir) – always good to END with this one: ROUSING FUN for the WHOLE ROOM!
If Faye Ringel or Mary Crowell or my brother Jeremy (he sings with me on the album) were with me, I’d sing Black Widow’s Waltz and Headless Bride from Headless Bride, or Little Man Jamie from Ballads from a Distant Star. They’re far better as duets! (Or, in the case of “Jamie” as a triplet!)
You know, I love all of these songs. Now that I’m taking voice lessons with the wonderful Kiara Duran, wouldn’t I love, in another three years, to re-record ALL OF THEM with my new, stronger, more trained voice.
Speaking of Kiara, she does voice lessons OVER ZOOM. I’ll write more about her (and the lessons) sometime, but I couldn’t recommend her more highly, for those of you who live in different states or time zones, or don’t have time/spoons for lessons out in the world.
Hallo! I don’t know how many of you are local to New York/New Jersey, but both Carlos Hernandez and I are Guests of Honor at HELIOsphere this year, along with Neil Clarke of Clarkesworld Magazine and David Gerrold. It’s coming up in two weeks!
There’ll be a masquerade, and Carlos and I will tell fortunes at the ice cream social using our Negocios Infernales cards! We’ll even have a half hour Brimstone Rhine concert with some of my songs! (Mostly a cappella, because you’ll forgive my lack of a guitarist or pianist, though Carlos might bring his ukulele for a few of them!)
There will be readings and panels galore, and Carlos and I even get to interview each other!!! I think you can even commute there pretty easily from NYC on the New Jersey Transit!
Since turning in my draft of Saint Death’s Herald to my editor, I’ve knocked out TWO of my THREE impending short story deadlines, and am working on the third.
You know, there’s that age-old question, “Where do your stories come from?”
The answer, of course, varies from person to person (a sliding scale starting at a table flip and moving all the way to a 200-page thesis or perhaps a memoir), but since I know the answer THIS TIME, and there are THREE DIFFERENT ONES, I thought I’d share them.
The first story was the hardest. I already wrote to our Kickstarter backers about it, so here, have that exerpt uncut:
As we’ve been playing Negocios Infernales games with you, our ADORABLE backers, I’ve sometimes stepped in as a player. And one of these times—back in February—I created a character I sort of adored.
TL;DR, the game was great, but ALSO! I had a deadline for a short story that was WAY OVERDUE, due to my novel ALSO being overdue! Thankfully, I finished BOTH of these deadlines within the last two weeks and turned everything in.
Having just finished my draft of Saint Death’s Herald, I was pretty burnt out on ideas for short stories. Carlos suggested that, since I loved my character “Dorado”—the poet in the birdcage—from our backers’ game, I use her as a seed for my short story.
It was such a RELIEF to have a place to start! And even MORE of a relief to finish!
“With Wings of Crystal” will appear in this year’s Origins anthology, with the theme of “Legacy.” Here’s a sneak peak of the first few paragraphs:
The birdcage on top of Dorada’s head itched, and a headache was starting. All told, that elaborate wire filigree was probably as heavy as the queen’s own diadem which had two swords jutting up from the sides like horns, one silver, one gold the royal blades of Espada and a pearl of so great a size that just to imagine the oyster of origin was to walk in fear of it.
Espada was a nation that loved its swords.
Thankfully, it was currently politically expedient that Espada also love its poets. Which was good, because being Espada’s court poet kept Almenara Sastre-Escribano (AKA “El Canario Dorado de la Reina de Espada”) (or just plain “Dorada,” really) in work.
My second story is for an Air and Nothingness Press anthology that I’m not one-hundo percent sure I can talk about yet, but suffice to say that it is one of the coolest CONCEPTS I’ve ever been invited to contribute to. AND I WILL SPEAK MORE ON THIS LATER!!!
ONE of the SEVERAL enfolded ideas in this anthology’s guidelines is to use archetypes from Shakespeare’s The Tempest. We were provided a list of archetypes to choose from (and a variety of other choices to make as well, but I’ll get more into that the closer we get to publication).
I chose “Maiden/Familiar/Monster.”
Partly, I did so because Carlos and I have a very active imaginary home life, full peppered with a fantastic menagerie of characters. And ONE of our sets of characters is a sorcerer sort of person named “Master,” and a familiar sort of person “Famulus.”
A BRIEF HISTORY OF MASTER AND FAMULUS:
Master wants all the magical (and possibly demonic) powers that Famulus possesses. Famulus just wants to please Master. Or possibly eat Master. Or possibly BE Master. Famulus is very loving, and very dangerous. Master adores Famulus, and also will not hesitate to atomize Famulus if Famulus gets out of hand—if Master can catch Famulus at Famulus’s shenanigans in time.
I thought I’d do something with these character seeds. You can see how they might overlap with “Maiden” (Master?) and “Familiar” (Famulus). The thought was very appealing—especially considering the third idea—“Monster”—as a trait shared between them.
Which one, after all, is more monstrous: Master of Famulus?
Answer: THEY BOTH DESERVE EACH OTHER. Or perhaps: TOGETHER, they are the monster.
All of this fun stuff was reeling around in my head, but I had no STORY—at least none that would fit in 1500 words or less.
This was a special, limited-release deck of fairy tale cards that the good Doctors of Carterhaugh, Doctor Cleto and Doctor Warman (I’m totally friends with them and can say their name, but I REALLY LIKE CALLING THEM DOCTORS, OKAY???) put together for their Enchanted workshop. They hope to re-release them one day, if they can find a vendor that does not leave the two of THEM with all the overhead of organizing and shipping. But that’s for another day.
For today: I HAVE MY DECK, YAY!
They’re very simple cards. They each have an archetypal fairy tale character right at the top, and a brief, shall we say, breakdown of some of the more psychological elements of the story. The card ends with a question to reflect on, usually pertaining to how a certain element of the given fairy tale might apply in your daily life.
Reader, I pulled—and I kid you not—“Rumpelstiltskin” and “The Milk Maid” (of “Rumpelstiltskin” fame), as well as “Rapunzel.”
So I sat awhile in this perfumed cloud of thought: “Milk Maid” (“Maiden”), and “Rumpelstiltskin” (“Familiar”), together with that interesting extra note of “Rapunzel”—after all, is not Shakespeare’s Miranda a kind of Rapunzel: the island her tower, a powerful sorcerer for a parent, and a prince coming upon her in all his wreckage?).
A story began to form.
I began by doing a little noodling research into Naples of the 16th century. I found out ALL SORTS OF INTERESTING THINGS about eggs and castles and linens and demons!!!
And then I took a good long look at the “Monster” in “Maiden, Familiar, Monster,” and thought a while about what I could possibly say about Caliban. There is a very long and difficult conversation surrounding The Tempest, racism, colonialism, and the silencing and abuse of many of the characters therein. I don’t have any answers, only a sliver of contribution to the discussion.
I had in my head, too, the whole while I was writing, a marvelous 10-minute play by Liz Duffy Adams, dealing with a post-Tempest post-Maiden Miranda unleashed upon the world. She’s a marvelous, sexy, darling creature, liberated and adorable, and I feel like my Miranda would be friends with Duffy’s Miranda. It’s a first-person voice, so it’s always surprising how that comes out each time. ONE CONTAINS MULTITUDES!
Anyway. I like the little thing. And it is a little thing at 1500 words. But it’s mine.
And what’s more, it’s DONE. TWO MONTH’S EARLY, BABY!
Story Seed 3: Again, thank you, Enchant Oracle Deck. And thank you, Tanith Lee, gosh darn it.
My third story is another invited submission for the forthcoming Tanith Lee tribute anthology, Storyteller, edited by Julie Day.
Some of the inspiration has been trickling in (feeding the boys in the basement, as Stephen King might say) through reading and, in some cases re-reading, a bunch of Tanith Lee stories and novels.
I restarted Silver Metal Lover (I know it’s not everyone’s jam; I know. I still love it!), and I bought a few old Daw paperbacks I’d never read before. I started reading Night’s Sorceress, a story collection from the “Flat Earth” world, where demons and gods still walk the land, and I gotta say…
I LOVE TANITH LEE’S DEMONS!
In fact, I’m over at Delia Sherman’s house today on a writing date, and she lent me two more Flat Earth books: Delusion’s Master and Death’s Master, which I think take place before Night’s Sorceress. But I’ve never gotten the sense, reading the former, that I need anything other than what the author provides me. But I’m into it!
The stories in Night’s Sorceressare very much in a fairy tale style, and eminently LICKABLE down on a sentence level.
I have many other thoughts, but none of them are fully matured yet, and possibly are only of interest to me, so I’ll leave them off this already elaborate blog.
Anyway, since I was full of a Tanithesque “fairy tale feeling” (as my mentor Gene Wolfe used to say), I pulled out my fairy tale cards again to see if they could jumpstart any creative ideas on this, the third short story I need to write before June. And, preferably, before I get edits back on Saint Death’s Herald.
I pulled the cards for “Sea Witch” and “The Girl Who Transformed into Fire” and “Puss in Puts.”
Ha! What a hodgepodge!
The story is still forming, but here’s what I know:
I know that the “Sea Witch” is my central demon. And I have a whole spark for the protagonist based on “The Girl Who Transformed Into Fire.” There’s something in this idea that I think is based on my one-and-a-half-decade-old memory of reading Tanith Lee’s Saint Fire. But I’m not sure! I’m just rolling with it.
I started researching the origins of whatever story “The Girl Who Transformed into the Fire” might come from, since it wasn’t one I was familiar with, and the best I could come up with is this VERY MACABRE German nursery rhyme that Mark Twain did a VERY BAD translation of.
I have no idea if this is the fairy tale the Doctors of Carterhaugh were taking as their inspiration for their card, or if theirs is maybe a take on the Russian Vasilisa, or maybe a Cinderella reference?
But if it’s the German rhyme (see article), then I have to say, the Doctors of Carterhaugh have taken the most generous and helpful and MODERN reading of a DREADFUL story of a child burning herself to death. They’ve, in fact, transformed it into a card all about TRANSFORMATION.
Well, that’s a good place for any story to start, eh?
Where Puss in Boots (mistyped, just now “Puss in Butts”) comes—archetypally or otherwise—into my story, I do not know.
…Although, now that I have written that, I am starting to get an inkling of an idea.
And now that I have blogged all that, I must write!
The last Baldur’s Gate 3 fan poem I wrote was “The Emperor,” shown at the link. Well, tonight’s another Sitzfleisch Poetry Hour, where some poet friends and I sit in a silent zoom and don’t talk to each other while we write our own poetry.
“Anyone can write poetry for ONE HOUR A MONTH!” quoth we!
She-Devil Dances
by C. S. E. Cooney
(for the BG3 creators at Larian–particularly the artists, writers, and voice behind Karlach)
as the wise mother tells her wide-eyed child, so I tell you now:
“look for the piercings, look for the ink. watch for the curling horns, smell that sulfur stink. it’s not what you think, my darling; it’s not what you think.
the betrayed and stolen who’ve reclaimed their skin? those who’ve crawled through hell and back up again? when you’re in trouble, go to them.
run not to the guardsmen, cruel with authority– but seek out the urchin, grown cunning, gone hunting for the very devils others take her for.”
I see her, radiant creature standing on a hill, alone. her heart, a liquid nickel candle her heart, a pulsar, unarmored
friend-hungry, eager, that flame-bright flower! flesh and iron, restless, ardent. she fidgets unceasing, her foot filled with longing, humming… something.
I sing along.
who can help but love her, who know her? how a hope-star smolders in the stifling dim? that’s her grin. how a child, bladder-full and irrepressible, dances? that’s how she dances.
April 1, 2024
And since Carlos and I finished our TWO-HUNDRED TWENTY-TWO HOUR play-through of Baldur’s Gate 3 last night, I thought I’d commemorate the occasion by writing a few of those other poems I had in mind on my previous list. I did them long-hand in my journal: “Open Box, Close Box” and “She-Devil Dances” and “Rite of the Wild Priest.” I’d like to do more, and maybe I will…
…NOW THAT I’VE STARTED TO PLAY AGAIN, THIS TIME BY MYSELF! It won’t be AS FUN as with Carlos but… MORE LOOTING! MORE SHOPPING! MORE KISSING! And also, I want to get at good at Combat and Puzzles as he is.
Part of this awesomeness, then, is that with BOTH tier levels, the writers who have signed up for this month of solidarity in writing (so much awesome stuff! Seriously, check out their calendar of April literary events) will be able to avail themselves of our INFERNAL SALON–which Carlos and I will be running!
What is an Infernal Salon?
It’s a fun, low-stakes writing workshop, high on community, ix-nay on the essure-pray. Each participant is given a prompt of one or more cards from the very spooky deck that C. S. E. Cooney, Carlos Hernandez, and artist Rebecca Huston invented for their TTRPG “Negocios Infernales.” Once every writer has their prompt, we’ll set a timer for 25 minutes. When the timer dings, the writers who want to will share their infernally-inspired works with all of us. The dynamic “Casa Hernandooney” team has run Infernal Salons at cons, charity events, and libraries, and without fail, much revelry and fun is had by all! If you’re looking for your next story idea or a way to shatter writer’s block, have we got a salon for you!
You can learn more about the game Negocios Infernales here, via a very goofy short home video we made for our Kickstarter, and look at some of the pretty cards and nice things people have said. If you’re just dying to have your own deck, pre-orders for the game are available on Outland Entertainment’s website here.
When is this happening?
The Carterhaugh Infernal Salon will take place on April 13 at 1PM ET!
So many of you have been so blisteringly, dazzlingly, incandescently supportive as I work to finish SAINT DEATH’S HERALD.
I’m not as fast as I want to be, and this book isn’t as short as it needs to be—REVISIONS SHOULD FIX THAT! Sort of!—but I have felt so loved and cheered through the incredibly weird human process called writing. THANK YOU!
One of the beautiful things Caitlyn Paxson has done for me during this last year and half was—in addition to listening to my chapters over SKYPE (we use Skype because it feels old-fashioned and not at all like Zooming for serious things like work)—making me these UNDEAD FLYING TIGER RUG EARRINGS.
Between Z. Z. Claybourne’s gift of Stripes the undead (flattened) (stuffed animal) flying tiger rug, and Caitlyn’s awesome earrings, which again, I reiterate, SHE MADE HERSELF, I am going to have to do some major googling to learn how to PAINT MY FACE LIKE A TIGER AND COSPLAY STRIPES!
I can’t recommend Caitlyn’s newsletter Book & Bramble or her incredible Instagram feed enough. And ZigZag has a book out… is it next month? NEXT MONTH! Local joy abounds.
Team Anxiety abounds in tonight’s game of Negocios Infernales. We’re all fairly high-strung and hilarious, and I’m having such a good time!
I’ve never played such an anxiety-ridden character who thinks so little of herself, but is still trying to live her best life… but I hope for the best for her. I hope her DOOM DOESN’T BEFALL HER. But if it does, I trust her Benefactor to fix it!
We’re just about to start Part IV: Worldbuilding, so I’d better dash! SO FAR, SO FUN!
Motivation: [card language] [your description] SUIT: HUESO CARD: A SINGLE TOOTH CANNOT CHEW.
Every night I dream my hair is falling out, or my teeth are falling out, or I am riding a runaway carriage with no horse pulling it, or am falling from the sky or through endless ocean depths. I do not know why; I’ve always been this way. I awake to pressures on my chest. The priestesses say I am haunted by demons. But ever since my bargain last year, I am no longer haunted. Either the priestesses were wrong, or the devil I met was no demon.
Role in Court: [card language] [your description] SUIT: CARNE CARD: IS YOUR PURPOSE TO BE SOMEONE ELSE’S MEAL?
The Court Confessor/The Royal Repository: being so worried about everything all the time, the priestesses who raised me in the orphanage thought it would be perfect if I got out of my own head, and listened, day in and day out, to other people’s worries, sins, crimes, atrocities, and traumas. They all say I am a very good listener: the best confessor the queen’s ever had. My hair has turned completely white since coming to court, and I’ve started to twitch uncontrollably–until my benefactor saved me.
Magic: [card language] [your description] SUIT: ESPACIO CARD: SEEDS SPEND MOST OF THEIR LIVES ASLEEP
My benector gave me a small amulet to wear, like a tiny seed of starlight in a small glass bubble. It grants me the power of hypnosis: both on myself and on others. I can help steer people away from their addictions, suggest alternate behaviors, make my enemies (like the priestesses who raised me) perform parlour tricks for my own amusement, and also put myself into meditative trances that have greatly aided my general health and well being. My twitching has stopped, and I have taken to dyeing my hair “Espadan crimson.”
Doom: [card language] [your description] SUIT: LAGRIMAS CARD: THE FLOWERS THAT BEAUTIFY THE GRAVE ARE ALSO DEAD
In the moment of my Doom, my amulet “fritzes.” A few things can happen, or maybe happen all at once. All of the good work I’ve done: soothing anxiety, easing trauma, redirecting bad habits, will backfire and those people will not only regress, they will experience far worsened conditions. Or, I start dreaming while awake what I usually dreamed while asleep: only I think it’s so real and have such a strong power that I make other people dream it too. Oh, so many horrid things will happen, to make up for me being so happy and healthy for a whole year. The priestesses were right all along; I didn’t deserve to be happy.
Name: Ufiz the Demon. (The priestesses named all their orphans after demons. I don’t know why I grew up so messed up. Really.)
I made this awhile ago, but I don’t know if I ever actually posted it. It’s just a little bit about each of the Twelve Gods from Quadiíb in the Saint Death Books.
I’ve recently been tangling with some of these gods (and ALSO a NEW one, from a DIFFERENT PANTHEON) in SAINT DEATH’S HERALD, which is so close to being done I can TASTE it
Anyway, I saw this on my desktop, and thought you might enjoy it. I’m in Brooklyn today, having my writing day at a friend’s house. WISH ME LUCK!
C.S.E. Cooney 